How to Torture a spinner

It was a nice evening in early summer, we were sitting in the family
room half heartedly watching TV. I was at my wheel working on some very
pretty (but very itchy) mohair,merino superwash-firestar mix that I had
blended earlier that day.
The Bf was spraweled on the couch watching yet another re-run of The
King of Queens. Bubba was perched on his shoulder trying to feed his
left ear.

I had Hannah on my shoulder quietly grroming herself and Bill was on
the back of the lazyboy grwling at anything that moved as usual. Cats
were laying by the screen door staring at the chickens staring at them.

All was well in the world and then it happened. Eeek eek eek I heard a
squeeking sound. Now in our house that could be anything, a chicken, one
of 3 parrots or a major appliance. Once when I was was little we had a
ghost in the attic that peeped, we called it the Peeper. So this was
nothing new and I was not unduly alarmed.

Then it came again and I stopped spinning to hear it and it stopped
squeeking. Oh Lord say it ain't so was it my trusty Traveler?? I oil
that puppy religiously considering how much I use it.
After casting a suspicious glance at the parrots to see if anyone
looked particulalrly guilty I began to spin again, blessed silence...ahh
it was only my imagination....then, eek eek eeek eek it was back!

Ok it was definetly my wheel,drastic measures had to be taken. Out with
the oil bottle. Oil the big wheel, the metal parts of the footmen, the
front and back of the maidenhead. There that should do it.
With confidence I begin to spin again. 5 Minutes pass, 10 minutes, things are
going well...then it started quietly Eeek eek eeeek eek. Damnation!!! I
am a seasoned spinner, this doesnt happen to me!!
My little Ashford Joy is a known squeeker...ask anyone at the last spin
in .. and my Kromski Minstrel sounds like I am crushing a large toad
with every pedal. I could not have my trusty Traveler go down the same
road as the others.

So out with the oil again, I oil everyting, I remember to oil the
treadle hinges this time. thinking that was the culprit. I say a few
curse words to help the situation. At this point Bf asks me whats wrong.
" I don't know, it shouldn't be dong this" I reply.."Doing what?" he
asks "What are you *(&^**^ deaf?
"Can't you hear that squeek???" Realizing he has started in a
direction he did not want to go he turns back to the TV.
Ok now lets try this again.

As I start spinning again the squeek is louder! Once again I check all
the parrots and as I look around the room I see the BF trying very hard
not to crack up while making the sound Eeek eek eek..

So I laugh and offer to show him some of the Itchy as hell mohair yarn
I had been making. "Here, I tell him this stuff is really soft, you
need to rub it on your head becuase I am going to make you a hat out of
it and I want to to feel how soft and warm it will be..." So he does and
then he accuses me of torturing poor little " Mo's" to make horrible
itchy Mohair yarn and we go back to half heartedly watching the TV.